Just Give Me a Fighting Chance!

LL Cool J dropped a quote via Twitter that I liked. I've learned it to be an important truth in life. "We have to surround ourselves with people that will lift us higher." That being said, there's a brother that lives below me that I avoid a lot because he doesn't keep good company. On the way from the store today, he stops me and wants to talk. "I have a little time,what's up brother?" He begins to vent and tell his story. His old lady won't work, no vehicle, scarce financial times, along with a dream to produce Christian rap. This 22 year old is lost in the labyrinth of life. "Brother you got to surround yourself with people that will uplift you, take you higher." Then he said "You grew up with your father huh?" Indeed. "Yeah, you sound like it. Well I didn't." That's reality for a lot of people. Fortunately, my dad has been with me since day one. The more I hear a person's story about no father, I appreciate mine more. Also within that, I feel a responsibility to help those who didn't. Having both parents should be commonplace; It should be the norm. Reality is, that ain't reality. 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. According to US Census Bureau Report, 65% of black children lived in a single parent home headed by mothers, whom we owe much commendation. Now that figure compares with 36% of Hispanic children and 27% of white children. A child with a nonresident father is 54% more likely to be poorer than his/her father. 90% of black children will be fed by food stamps. Very staggering numbers. Malcolm referred to poor people as "the ones stuck deep in the mud." Now those numbers are more often the byproducts of 400 years of oppression and the lingering effect, but how long can blame the ref for you losing the game? It gets old. You have to play hard through setbacks to give yourself a chance. We have to start making better life choices as well as lifestyle choices. We must begin to love ourselves, one another, our God(because God must be an activity of our consciousness), our community, OUR YOUTH, and our heritage of humanity. I fervently commend those who do, but according to numbers, you are a minority; so we have work to do. Everybody and everything NEEDS and DESERVES a FATHER. If one is not ready to father a child, be a man of realization, and protect yourself. We aren't giving our youth a real chance! They start underwater and we wonder why they drown. You can't control the psyche of an immoral cop, but you can definitely control whether you assist in impregnation, all the while flirting with poverty. Being without a father affects children in the most important area: paideia! Education! Fatherless children are twice likely to drop out of school. 62% of children living with both parents have parents that are highly active in their school. It is easier to become a father, than to be one. Thanks Pops.

Authentic Love: Agape and Eros

"Love never claims, it ever gives." Gandhi.



The central staple of our lives should be love. Not money. Not success. The funny thing about that is if we begin to really "love our neighbors, as we love ourselves", then all these other goals and destinations that we seek, will all fall into place. But when I converse with the everyday people about everyday issues such as love, we find that we really don't know what true love is and if we cant distinguish authentic love from fool's gold, then we most certainly don't know how to apply love to our lives and the lives of others. The great C.S. Lewis tells us about 4 types of love (affection or storge, philos or friendship, Eros or romantic love, agape or unconditional love)in his writing, "The Four Loves". We will touch on only two.



Now lets differentiate Eros and agape because these are so misunderstood by the masses. When we talk about Eros, we move into a realm of passionate and romantic feeling for another person. Our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, domestic partners, summer flings, mistresses, etc fall under the category of those affected by erotic love. We see this type of love come and go in our courtships simply because it derives from an impulsive, beast-like place in us that attaches itself to the status or current condition of that relationship. Once Eros burns itself out, most times there is nothing left between the two persons and disdain creeps in and sometimes hate. That is what we want to call conditional love. When the happy and jovial conditions no longer exist, Eros love falls apart.



Agape love is a horse of a different color. I get real excited when i talk about agape! What is agape? Martin said this: "Agape is disinterested love.....Agape does not begin by discriminating worthy or unworthy people, or any qualities people possess. It begins by loving others for their sakes.....Therefore, agape makes no distinction between friend or enemy; it is directed toward both." Agape is true love at its simplest and most basic level, however it seems so hard for people to fathom and also apply this. Agape is the purest sense of unconditional love. What examples of unconditional love can we draw from? There are so many! We can look at the life of Jesus. He loved no matter who you were, where you were from, and what wrong you may have done to him or anybody else. We can look at the life of Gandhi. He fought the injustices of the British Empire through nonviolence while still loving them, despite the atrocities he and his people encountered. We can draw from the prophet Muhammad and his struggle to endure religious persecution by his own people, but still taught love regardless of the situation. Mandela fought the evils of Apartheid because he loved himself, his people, and he still loved his enemies and didn't harbor an attitude of hatred. Martin Luther King taught America to continue to love and bless those who curse you. Those are a few examples we can mimic in our quest to be better humans by loving unconditionally. So what you and this brother or sister have differences of opinion. So what you disagree on religion. So what he or she broke your heart. So what. So what. So what. Paul, one the greatest(if not the greatest) Christian writers, tell us this regarding love: "Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Now if we are realists, and we should be, we understand that nobody is perfect. Humans will always fall short, but in our mission to be God-like, we must continue to love one another. We must love even more within difficult and adverse times. So if a relationship crumbles don't say "He/She doesn't love me anymore!" That's not true. Maybe your Eros has faded, but agape should still be there. Don't say "I hate my mother/father/friend/brother/relative! They always let me down!" Love them despite their shortcomings, for love is and has been the unifying force of the world over many years. Erotic love is nice to encounter, but if agape is not the foundation of any relationship, whether it be erotic or platonic, your setting yourself up for failure. peace.


"When I speak of love, I am speaking of that force which all the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality." MLK.

"We are obliged to love one another. We are not strictly bound to "like" one another." Thomas Merton.

"Love..... is the Law of our Being" Gandhi

"Love never claims, it ever gives." Gandhi